funny Christmas quotes
There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus
― Bob Phillips


funny Christmas quotes
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph
― Shirley Temple, Hollywood star


witty funny Christmas quotes
Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money
― Anonymous


humorous funny Christmas quotes
You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger
― Robert Paul






hilarious funny Christmas quotes
That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.
― Jerry Seinfeld


funny Christmas quotes
Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home
― Carol Nelson


funny Christmas quotes
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included
― Bernard Manning


funny Christmas quotes
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child
― Erma Bombeck


funny Christmas quotes
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin
― Jay Leno


funny Christmas quotes
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year
― Victor Borge


funny Christmas quotes
A Christmas shopper's complaint is one of long-standing
― Jay Leno


funny Christmas quotes
Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet
― Anonymous


funny Christmas quotes
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas
― Johnny Carson


funny Christmas quotes
From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it
― Katharine Whitehorn


funny Christmas quotes
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic
― Anonymous


funny Christmas quotes
Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present
― Anonymous


funny Christmas quotes
There has been only one Christmas - the rest are anniversaries
― W.J. Cameron






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